cnkelley

miscarriage, misscarry, misscarrying, misscarried, loss of a child, heartbreak, lost love, love poem, poem, parents, sad parent, how to cope, try to understand, having a baby, trying again, concieving, ultrasound, sonogram, protect, hold you, faith, shaking inside, miss you

Gods Child you have come to be, I tried to protect you from everything.

The patter of your heart and smile I could not wait to see.

After months of looking forward to holding you, we gave you a name, that was nothing the same.

You were unique, my child, my heart, that special part of me.

Time had other plans, and from this world, you had to be.

A doctor appointment, a third sonogram, tears flowing without end.

They said I had lost you and your little heart just failed to beat.

I was angry, lost, and confused at God for doing this to me.

My faith had dwindled, the sadness slipped in, I could not remember where it all began.

I wanted to hold you, to teach you knew things, to watch you giggle, when I called your name.

How do I move past a would have should have been?

No one understands, the life lost was that of my little man.

Scared to death, shaking inside, cursing God, were feelings I could not hide.

It just happens I was told, it was never good enough for me.

You can try for another, but how much time is enough to stop the heart ache.

I was scared to feel this way again, I shut down, and was even on medicine.

It happened as I was told it would be.

I was pregnant again, not long after this devastation took its toll.

I was cautious of everything, never knowing what took you from me.

Treating this pregnancy as if I carried the world’s stock in Gold.

I found my faith again and regained a bit of hope.

Your brother was born looking just as you were in my dreams.

A smile so big, an angel came to save me.

He was born exactly one year to your death, and it’s still hard to catch my breath.

I feel sometimes you are with him, and I thank God always, for what could have been.